*Sigh*

This week has been long.

The exhaustion (where you can't do anything but sit and stare at the wall) came back, yuck... I applied to a couple of places, and realized that I should have thought of it a lot earlier because most seasonal places start in May, not look over applications in May... My face is "Zit Face of America" worthy... I think I've gained 5 lbs this week alone :P I just read over some old posts, and it dawned on me that 5 short months ago, I had an amazing life (I was busy with a split shift job, dating, hanging out with friends most every day, etc.)! It's crazy how fast that can seem to change ... yesterday was the weirdest of them all:

I went to my cousin's dance concert, and after that there was an institute dance. I randomly decided to go, even though I knew everyone would be about 8 years younger than me... it was weird!!! They really were that young! It was actually okay, but I had to keep telling myself to take it easy, so I wouldn't put myself back into sleep mode. I decided I'd go home, and thought of the Enoch Stake Singles' dance. My friend, who is only a couple of years older than me asked if I wanted to go once, so I thought it would be more my age... only when I got there everyone had grey hair! Seriously, they could be my parents, if not grandparents!!!! They played probably two songs that I recognized, and uncomfortable doesn't describe the feeling I had. This one guy made a bee-line for me right when I walked in the door and wouldn't leave my side the entire time. He had a graying beard for crying out loud, and I know I look younger than I am so it's like this old guy flirting with a 23 year old! Ick. I finally said that I thought my friend would be there, but she wasn't, so I was going to go home. Come to think of it she said she goes to the ones in ST GEORGE because they're better...

I now feel like I don't fit in anywhere, either with the youngin's or the old fogies. Isn't there anyone left in-between besides me? ? ? ? All I can say is that I hope with every fiber of my being that I never fit in at a dance like that. If I'm 50 and single, I'll cut my losses and bide my time for the Celestial Kingdom. Ok, to be truthful, if I were their age I might have had fun. Some couples looked really cute, and note this: both people were about the same age :)

Right now the moving jitters are coming on strong. I thought I'd like it in Cedar forever, but I think I'll go crazy if I spend another week like this last one. I'm running out of ideas of things to do, and even Facebook time can only last so long. I'm definitely not the the point I was before moving to Flagstaff (see timeline post), where I just left -without any hopes for a job or place to live! Thank goodness my cousin Devin and Lisa lived there and let me stay with them for a few days :-) This time I might just get a job and place to live BEFORE I move. Unless I attend another dance... That could put me over the edge.