QUESTIONS

Questions
You can only type ONE Word! Not as easy as you might think. Change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. (I stole this from Rachel Grandy Hansen's blog)

1. Where is your cell phone? bag
2. Where is your significant other? non-existant
3. Your hair? straight
4. Your mother? loving
5. Your father? gardener
6. Your favorite thing? Custard
7. Your dream last night? blank
8. Your favorite drink? H2O
9. Your dream/goal? gypsy
10. The room you're in? office
11. Your hobby? hiking
12. Your fear? alone
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? therapist/mother
14. Where were you last night? apartment
15. What you're not? quiet
16. Muffins? blueberry
17. One of your wish list items? thorn-proof-tires
18. Where you grew up? Paragonah
19. The last thing you did? stringcheese
20. What are you wearing? stripes
21. Your TV? double
22. Your pets? icky
23. Your computer? none
24. Your life? unknown
25. Your mood? tired
26. Missing someone? lots
27. Your car? love
28. Something you're not wearing? flipflops
29. Favorite store? Borders
30. Your summer? started
31. Like someone? John (not Big John)
32. Your favorite color? blue?
33. When is the last time you laughed? 17 hrs

Moving, but only to Provo :(

You may be wondering why I am moving out of my adventurous, fairy tale like cottage. Well, it has been 9 months since I moved out on my own... I know I know, I swore I'd never live with roommates again (the last few places I lived weren't the best experiences), BUT newsflash to me: if you live by yourself, and you're the Sunbeam teacher in a family ward, you're not going to have much of a social life! Hence the overabundance of family stuff on my facebook account/blog, with friends from past adventures. So now I figure it's time to find some normal, hopefully sane people to be around, who aren't in crisis ( I work at the Center for Women and Children in Crisis). I'm moving to an apartment close to BYU, with a gazillion roommates. Maybe sane-non-crisis people don't exist, but there's bound to be one in a gazillion right? I could be wrong, and if so I'm sure I'll be rushing back to my hermitage; but I'm a big believer in silver linings. Here's for hoping!

I'm like a bird

I've figured out what my problem with life is: I want mine to have greater meaning than the every day dullness of reality. The problem is that it seems that the every day simple things are what make up a life, with a few scattered moments of grandeur. I'd just like to have those moments last longer, and maybe even have more grandiouse times and boring/normal moments. Maybe the key is to find meaning in the small simple things, but I'd still like to make a huge difference in the world! I think I suffer from the West's unsatisfied searching for meaning. Maybe I should move to the East. If you've known me longer than a week, you'll know that this is my eternal answer. Moving somewhere else is always fun and exciting. I'm pretty much addicted, and the withdrawls of styaing on one place for two long years isn't much fun. So far I've looked into moving to San Diego, Alaska, Cedar City, and the Smokey Mountains. For some unknown reason, I'm still here in Orem, UT. Stuck among a million other Mormons who never want to leave the "Utah Valley Bubble."

I'm ready to bust through that bubble as soon as the timing is right... now can I? How about now? How much longer? Am I there yet? Since the prospects for marriage are slim to none, I might as well have a great time while I'm single right? I'm hoping that Heavenly Father will soon answer in the affirmative, then I can go trapsing through the world unfettered and unencumbered by mortgages and the idea of returning to school (I graduate in 4 days). I keep saying that Utah is a black hole that sucks you in and never lets you go. I really hope that's not going to be true for the rest of my life :D

Inspiriation

A few days ago I watched an incredible PBS movie about parents who raised three kids on a boat as they toured the world. http://www.thesailingchannel.tv/iceblink/ They wouldn't spend much money, and when they ran out they'd just work somewhere until they could go again. I watched it thinking, "Who needs a house with a mortgage, or to be overloaded with stuff?" It inspired me almost to the point of buying my own boat. That only lasted until I remembered that I'm scared of the ocean, at least where I can't see/touch the bottom (that means only 99.99% of the water in oceans scare me). I have been on a couple of ferry's, but the Nantucket Sound is like Utah Lake, so you could probably wade to shore if you fell overboard. I decided that I'd "settle" on buying a camper and driving around North and South America!!! Maybe I'll do some humanitarian work along the way, as I stop in a town for a few months and work at a hotel or something. Did you know that there's such thing as camper vans? They have kitchenettes and chairs that fold out into double beds. Wow, with that I could really go cheap, and definitely in style. This was my favorite one on EBay. Not that I'd really get one like that, but how fun would it be? Why don't I do it? The only thing that would hold me back would be going to grad school. If I don't get accepted, then it's off to the unknown for me :D Maybe I'll take pictures and sell them like the Martins did too. Then I'll be rich enough to keep up the lifestyle. Just in case you're wondering, I am serious about wanting to do this (not necessarily selling pics for money, but about the whole idea). Just like I was about the milk party.

Singles Anonymous, Round 2

If you're wondering what you can say to a single person, besides the ever present dating question, I'd say that the best thing to ask would be, "How are you doing?" or, "What's new in your life?" You don't have to mention dating, or children, or anything else. Then they can tell you about their lives and what's really going on. You can listen. I'd bet that they won't show proof of sitting on their hope chests, crying their eyes out because they aren't married. Their life might be a "Plan B," but who says "Plan A" is the only way to go?

My list of things not to say:

• "Some day a guy will come along..." first of all, you don't know that. I might not get married, and the guys that "comes along" might be immoral/unethical/addicted to drugs or something.
• "Your husband didn't die in the war in Heaven." Well, he might have "died" and that means that he joined Satan's ranks. Not a nice thought. It's a cute catch phrase, but when I heard that one I was pretty offended. I got this advice from a stranger and it still floors me. Does anyone really think that anyway?
• "I know this guy who just got divorced"... Remember that being single is not the only qualification needed to get married.
• "Have you tried the Internet?" That's not even safe! Though it has worked for some.
• "How do you do it? It must be so hard for you to move forward." My thought is, "you've gotta be kidding, do you know me at all?" I haven't actually heard this comment myself, but my Visiting Teaching partner's sister said it to her. She's my age.
• "I know this missionary who just got home..." Look, I am 28. Do you really think it's a good idea for me to date a guy who is 7 years younger than I am? Call me picky!
• "There must be something wrong with him, he's been engaged before." This doesn't really work for me, because I've been engaged before too. Telling me this information about someone else obviously says that there's something wrong with me.
• "Don't worry, I know a girl who got married when she was 26." Again, I'm older than that, and I know lots of girls who got married when they were 20. What does that have to do with me????
  

My turn for advice:

A good rule of thumb is to give advice- on how to find a member of the opposite sex, and probably at any other topic too- ONLY WHEN ASKED (the fact that you're reading this post counts as asking for my advice). I don't think many do ask, unless you are really close. DO NOT give advice to strangers who mention that they aren't married!

DO NOT spend an hour's conversation talking about guys you can set up a single person with. I've honestly had conversations where I try to change the subject more than once, but they won't have it.

I have a question for the "marrieds": would you like it if single people came up to you and said things like, "Isn't married life hard? Don't worry, it'll all be OK for you once you get to heaven."Or "Wow, you have that many kids? Maybe they'll grow up fast so you can find your own identity." Not that I would ever say those things, because it would be rude. I'm just saying that it would be nice if my pushy married friends (you know who you are), wouldn't treat me like I need to be fixed- by them. I bet God can handle that all by himself.

Three cheers to the good life, no matter your marital/parental status!

Ok, the post that I ranted and raved about married people always asking about my dating life, needs an addendum. Married people aren't the only ones who bring it up. Lately it has also been a huge topic of conversation for those who are single. I'm simply sick of the conversation, no matter who brings it up, so please ask me something- anything else.

Hi, My name is Carrie, and I'm a single person.

Here's an idea, a Singles Anonymous Group! Wait. Maybe that's the Singles Ward ;)

All right here's the scoop: people bug me sometimes. My cousin, who is 18 and really should know better, made "the comment" yesterday. I was talking about my calling as a Sunbeam Teacher in church (Three year olds have more energy than the Energizer Bunny. I think they actually harness the energy from them for the batteries... but back to my post) and I must have said something about kids in relation to me, because the next thing he says is, "Oh you'll have kids. If not in this life, you'll have them in the next!" This might seem an OK thing to say, but first of all, that was not even my issue. It's like people hear the word child from a single person's lips and it's assumed that they're going to whine about not having any. At that moment, I was thinking, how in the world do mom's do it? and, I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that. Then he goes off on how someday I'll have my own?????

I think people say this type of advice just to put their own mind at ease, and feel like they made the single person feel better. It's never worked for me, and I doubt it works for others. The problem is that it's not always the issue the person is even talking about, and the advice giver doesn't bother listening. I'm pretty sure every single Mormon knows the doctrine of all things being made up to them. If you were single for awhile, and you heard this comment over and over, and over and over, it would get old for you too.

When the above comment, or the comment about finding a guy in the next life is made, I really just want to say, "What do you suggest for the next 80 years of my life?" The next life is most likely years and years away. Maybe that retort wouldn't be the best idea, because knowing the comments I've had, they'd probably say soemthing like, "look for that guy to come along!" Honestly, sometimes I think waiting for some perfect person in heaven is the best option. That way you won't have to deal with annoying habits for 80+ years. And though it is hard once in awhile- like when your younger sisters get married, then have babies, then have more kids... and you're all alone, just you and your PJ's (I heard the PJ comment in a talk once) - it's not like my life is worthless because "that guy hasn't come along." I have worth because of who I am, not who I'm with. I wish people would understand that.