Go Life History!

1. Last night for FHE we started a personal/family history project, where I took questions from one of my grandparent's 6 pg. Q & A about your life, copied them for everyone, and we started filling it out. In the background we played some old tapes that we made when the kids were little. Things have definitely changed1 It was fun to see everybody else get excited about it. I'll post the pages as soon as I'm done, I know you're on pins and needles waiting for them... Trust me, it really is fun!

2. I am almost done with my scanning pictures from old scrapbooks! Kathy and Bryce have graciously let me use their computer for hours on end, and I am so grateful! Now I'm going to upload them to facebook and share them, or you can always look at the Picasa album. It's been great to go over my life in pictures, remembering the "good old days." I'd suggest it to everyone, but seriously, only one hour at a time.

Another fun thing about it all is that I've gotten to see a lot more of my niece and nephew! They are a lot of fun, and I'm glad they're getting better. Thanks B, K, E, and A!!!!!! I love you guys.

Trying to get both of us looking at the camera AND smiling at the same time :)

Autumn's Blessing

Cute little booties


4 generations, Great Grandma: Donna Mae Close Scott, Grandma: D.anne Scott Robinson, Mom: Kristy Anne Robinson Cook, baby: Autumn Elizabeth Cook.


The Cook Family: Kristy, Nathan, Autumn, Kaden.


She loves me.

Confession

Today I spent an hour at church holding my niece, and I really felt like I want more out of my life. I truly do want the more fulfilling stuff: to get married, have kids, and live a "real" life. There I said it. The end.

My computer is having a hard time with the internet connection, but pictures will be here soon!

Short-er

Sorry for the long posts, you're probably bored... All I can say about the time line post is that you should look at the year we met or something and forget about the rest.

Ok, more on the trip to AZ: I love the Grandys! The saddest part of leaving was the fact that Rachel didn't like the idea of us taking her three month old twins with us. Seriously, wouldn't you want some sleep after 3 months without it? We could always bring them back in a few months, or we could just take one. I can't believe the distraction dance didn't work on her :D We would have tried for Thayne too, but Alyssa already had him with her on their way to ID.

My favorite parts of the trip: the game Quelf, and Amanda singing "You're so Vain" without Talmage realizing that the game had started. Then there was Annie trying to tickle Rick. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard! Random pictures are always fun. I now have "THE PICTURE" scanned, and hope to upload it soon :D :D :D We also saw a train in Flagstaff, and it brought back so many memories. I never got tired of hearing the train whistles while I was there.

Random things about the trip- 1. March is a weird time to travel. We drove over Cedar Mountain with snow, down to Paige where it's warm, then to cold Flag., and down to Phoenix in summer like weather. Not many trips require every single type of clothing you own. 2. I figured out, after stopping for probably the fourth time, that my key chain will hold the plastic wheel cover in place! It kept falling down and scraping along the road, of course sounding like something was dreadfully wrong with the engine, so I wrapped the elastic thing around it...It worked, but now how do I hook my keys to my purse?

I love having friends that when you see them again, it seems like you've never left. I think I giggled more in one day than I have in the last year. I swear it's like I revert back to the age I was when I first met them. Fun fun fun.

The $65 missionary experience that saved my life.

I just got back from a road trip to the Phoenix area, and do I have a story to tell! My sis. Annie and I decided, on the spur of the moment, that we'd go see Rick Grandy's (our families are good friends) baby blessing. We hadn't seen Amanda when she got home from her mission, or Rachel's twins, so we had to go this time! What other time would the whole family be there? She called me Sat. at noon, and we got there at 12am that night. Sorry, I know it's long and drawn out, but I want all of the details. Anyway...

First of all I know very little about cars and tires, which this experience shows: we stopped in Kanab to look at the map for the best way to get there. I tried to pull into a driveway to turn around, but the tire slammed into the metal part over the ditch (name?). There was a big bulge on the side of the tire, but it was Saturday and the one tire store in town closed 20 minutes before we got there. We had the option of going home or to keep going, so we slowly continued on, hoping that it would be fine. When we got to a gas station by Lake Powell, I needed a break from the stress, so we got out to get ice cream. There we stood looking at this tire, with a bigger bulge than before, not knowing what to do. We were in the middle of nowhere, on a Saturday evening, with only a doughnut tire in my trunk. We suddenly looked over, and here was this angel in glowing white robes, descending to our car.... not really! Actually we saw a guy (about my age and clean cut, not 50 with a long beard as some have supposed), working on his truck that carries cars. I asked him if he knew anything about tires. He came over, looked at the tire, and said to be honest, we were very lucky to have made it that far. You could see that the tire was starting to peel away, and was going to pop at any moment. He said that because it was a front tire (under the engine, with a lot of weight on it), and the bulge was on the side of the tire instead of on the bottom, it wouldn't have been a little leak but a complete blow out! Right ahead of us there were cliffs, and very steep, windy roads. With the added pressure, we couldn't have controlled the car and most likely would have died. This person who basically saved our lives, got a jack out of one of the cars on his truck (my jack is gone, seriously could it get any more embarrassing?), put the doughnut on the BACK mount, and told us to go only 40 mph. He said he'd be driving behind us to Flagstaff (where we would be able to get a different car), and he'd keep his eyes open for us.

Missionary Moment: He went back to his truck and Annie says, "we should give him a Book of Mormon!" I was already thinking that, but since she said it out loud I told her she needed practice for Europe. I had an extra copy, but it was a little bent up, and the first page said "To Darren, congratulations on your baptism!" I told her to rip it out (sorry Darren), because it was only the front page, and who needs that? We went over and told him we didn't have much else, but we had a book for him. Annie explained that it was about Christ coming to America, and that sounded funny to me, but it turned out well anyway. She told him to look on www.Mormon.org, and he said, "Why don't you write it down?" I went back to the car to get a pen, and he practically ran to the store. Annie says, "great, he's probably hiding from us, trying to get away from these crazy Mormon girls!" But he came back a few minutes later and said, "where's my book?" You have to think of this in a Russian accent, because he's from that area. Actually when asked where he was from, he said, "I don't know," because he's from the border of Russia and Hungary, and they're always fighting over the land. He doesn't know which country he is from, by the day :( We gave him the book (Annie is a great missionary!) , got in our cars, and drove away. Along the road we were of course going slow, so he passed us and almost got hit as he was waving to us. Then when we got down to the dam, he waved us over to the side of the road. We had to get a picture with him, even though he didn't see why. I told him he saved our lives, and he said that it was God, I said yes, but you helped-- we got the picture.

Miracle of miracles, he remembered that there is a Wal-mart, with a tire place, in Paige AZ!!! It was just ahead. Yes! We were thinking we'd have to drive all the way to Flag, which is usually about 2 hours from Paige, but this slow??? The new tire cost $65 (because my tire, that is still under warranty can only be free in Orem uggh.) so this was the money part of the missionary experience. Annie wondered if everything happened the way it did, just so we could meet him?! Possibly. Now she's planning on him getting converted and marrying me, will it never end?

Miracles:

• What if we didn't go towards Page after looking at the map in Kanab? It is the only Walmart of any kind for probably 400 miles, let alone one with a tire place.
  
• If we went the other way, we would have been in the middle of nowhere, and even if the tire had blown out BEFORE the Vermillion cliffs, we would have at the very least had to pay a lot more money for towing and for someone to come in on a Saturday for a new tire. At worst it could have blown out on the cliffs.
• What if I didn't feel like ice cream at the stop right before the steep windy roads/cliffs?
• If we had gotten there 20 minutes earlier, we could have gotten the new tire in Kanab, and would have never met Joe Daniels (he said to call him Joe, or Daniel or whatever you want)
  
• What if he was in a normal little truck? ok that's not really a miracle, but I thought it funny that he just went to one of the cars on his truck to get the jack.
  
• What if he had never been to Paige? We probably would have passed it, because I was so stressed about just staying on the road, that I doubt it would have occurred to me to look for a Wal-mart ( I still hate that chain, but I'm grateful for this one).
  
• I've been praying for a missionary experience for the last couple of weeks, but with little faith because I've never given away a Book of Mormon in UT. Miracle: missionary work in UT-- FOR ME! I know that it's the highest baptising (English speaking) mission, I just never thought I'd see the day for myself. Of course it all happened right on the border, and on a road trip, but it still counts. I even told a little bit of my religion to my new pen pal in the same week. Prayers are answered.
  

This experience reiterated the fact that God can make a way when there is no way. We really didn't have any options. None, especially with my -not enough knowledge to at least switch the tire to the back! God is in control. Every time I hear that, I think, well what about those who do crash off of cliffs? I guess this time Heavenly Father had something else in mind for us. Thank goodness. He sent us to the place we needed to be to get the help we needed. Thanks Joe Daniels, pray about that book!

It was the juice!

A couple of weeks ago, as I was getting ready to go to the temple suddenly my face, arms, and knees (not the rest of my leg, weird!) started to burn. It seriously felt like a sunburn, and I had to take pictures so people would believe me. My cousin Heather said that the same thing happened to her, and a doctor said it might be a side effect of Kayani juice! It's a healthy juice that's supposed to help energy, joints, blood pressure... and I guess it helps to turn pasty skin red. I actually did drink some a few minutes before the burning sensation started, so that must be what it was. Question is, do I drink it again? I probably will.

TAG- Ten Year Timeline

My aunt said the, "Your life is so exciting!" phrase the other day. I think we must have different definitions of exciting. I know a lot of people get mixed up with the shear number of crazy things in my life, so maybe this will straighten it out (you might want to draw a map).

Here is a Time-line from the past 10 years of my life:

1999- Attended and graduated from Evans Hairstyling College (NO I didn't drop out, I just didn't work in a Salon. 1 year was enough torture for me.) - I rarely tell people this, because I'm not the "type." I don't really wear a lot of make up, and I feel insecure about my abilities ten years later!
~Moved to Orem, and worked at: Feature Films For Families (met Melissa, my cousin's wife's best friend, and we're still "Christmas card friends") , RISE working with disabled
adults, and Seagull Book and Tape (I loved the patrons, but hated selling). Lived with my cousin Heidi and two others in a basement apartment. Bought my first (used) car, Mandy.

2000- Attended UVSC part time and lived with my Aunt Cheryl for the first time. Made friends with nick names like "shallow weed." Became an institute groupie, went to 6 and 7 am leadership meetings, and knew "everybody" who walked in. I moved back to Cedar City for the "Magical Summer" where we stayed up until 3 am almost every night, doing things like the Wal-mart game, Christmas in July, scrapbooking, and singing at the rest home (that was during the day). Moved back to Orem, and attended UVSC where I started dating Jeremy.

2001- First "almost engaged" story, as in he "unofficially" asked me (no ring), then prayed about it, and a month later he got a "No." I thought I got a "Yes." My first broken heart experience, that took me two years to get over.
~I worked at Western Watts, good old surveys :) BYU 100th ward is probably my favorite singles ward! We all lived within a block of each other, and bonded over our ghetto apartments. Still Christmas- card- friends with "Sambora." Took my first cross-country road trip from UT to Maine, with eight people, in two weeks! First try-to-go-on-a-mission-story, but it didn't work out, mainly because of money issues.
~Moved back to Cedar, worked at Adventureland Video, moved out with Abigail my sister's best friend, and started "Twinner Days" with my sister Emily. First nephew, Caleb Ray Bailey was born to my sister Sheri. The only complicated pregnancy so far, we were so glad he was healthy.

2002 I attended SUU for one semester, went swimming at 6:30 most mornings, enjoyed taking institute/computers with my sis. Kathy, and the Love Basket that we'd leave for e/o. Planned Yosemite, my sister Kristy, cousin Brian, and I worked in the national park for the summer. I loved it so much that I didn't come back in August, but stayed until Dec. Kristy and I lived in a tent cabin (true love of my life, I want one in my back yard) in "Boys Town," the place that another member wouldn't let his wife walk through, and I lived in a dorm once they left. Maybe I should have stayed? I went back to Utah for school, after a trip to Portland by myself (dumb) on a train, thankfully nothing bad happened! "Twinner Days" became "Hay Hay Hay days", with Darren, Emily, and me.

2003 Attended SUU for a second hard semester, and got through it by planning another work/touring place: Cape Cod Mass. This time I went alone, but had Hayley, a roommate from BYU, who actually helped me dress like a normal person :), worked at the Lighthouse Inn, met great people, and had a "three guy summer." I'm sorry boys, I was a wreck! Missed the two best family reunions (by the ocean, and at Martin's Cove), and seeing Sheri's new baby, Samantha Jean Bailey until she was a couple of months old.
~Long distance dated Dan when I got home in Oct... I visited Mass. again and got my 2nd broken heart, but it was worse, because I was left on the other side of the country for a week after it was over! At least my other friends made it bearable.
~Bought my second car, Big Blue (though he was white), who would talk: "Please fasten your seat belt" and when you did, "Thank you."

2004 Dated lots of guys. There were 8 guys that either I liked, they liked me, or we liked each other. I came up with nick names so Kristy could know which one I was talking about (old man, Montana boy, etc.). I finally decided that I should be serious, and dated Luke (from BYU 100th), even though he was moving to New York! We were "engaged to be engaged" because I was already wary of engagements. We got "Officially Engaged" in Dec. First (and only so far) ring, which I lost!
~Worked as a special ed aide, and later as a respite provider for one of the boys in that class, and another littler girl. Loved it! Lived in Orem with Cheryl again, then moved to a condo with 3 roommates at 2 different times (who knew I'd be the one to stay when others moved?), worst living quarters- we shared a shower between rooms, with the shower doors leading into the bedrooms. The one time I actually yelled at a roommate! Met two good friends, and came up with the names Britt, Libby, and John (me), during an all-nighter at a ward camp out. Bishop Taylor remains one of the best.

2005 The craziest year so far (Hayley, this is the story) : I broke off the engagement to Luke after a very rocky 5 months (he's a simple physicist, and I'm a complex social work type), received my endowments in the St. George Temple (after asking every bishop since I was 18, I finally got to go!!!! it felt like I had come home), the same day as my brother and sister, planned a mission again and felt really good about it, graduated from UVSC with an Associates, got back together with Dan, he was supportive of the mission idea, but he came from Mass. to visit and it was over (BIG sign if you can't handle dating in person). I think I moved from Orem to Cedar and back about three times, worked as a custodian and took phone surveys again, got a mission call (Best day of my life)!!! then three days later met Erick.
~We moved WAY fast, he asked me to pray about staying home, but I said I'd cut off his arm if he tried to keep me from a mission, he said I was stubborn (how did he know that would make me do it?)... I eventually prayed... and got a huge answer while in the temple that I should stay home. Really, if it was just a good feeling or something I wouldn't have done it, but that is one revelation I can't deny. I thought my heart was broken, but didn't know the half of it. About 3(?) weeks later Erick broke up with me.
~I had nothing left: I didn't have a place to live, no job, no mission, and now no boyfriend. I was not happy with Heavenly Father. Wanted to get away, and (shocker) decided to move again. I had driven through Flagstaff AZ once, and thought it would be a nice place to live some day, and now it dawned on me that no one there knew of my "exciting" life to ask about! That's where I went. I met some great people again, worked at a before/after school program and later as a special ed aide, had the best roommates-now Facebook friends, and the greatest bishop of all time.
~Dated Big John from Joseph City. Another LDR (Long distance relationship) !??!, but at least he only lived an hour away instead of two time zones away. What is my problem? That was the year I talked seriously about marrying 4 guys. FOUR. I still can't believe it.

2006 Felt like I should move back to UT to finish school, but the idea made me sick. Provo, are you kidding me? I finally did it, but it was not fun. Everywhere I went I was haunted by guy history :( and it didn't help that Dan had moved to UT and was going to UVSC (we did not get back together this time, seriously I think I just liked the imaginary, long distance person). Oh, I forgot to mention that the 2 years I could have been on a mission, but stayed home because of an answer, was the time three of my younger sisters got married, and my brother actually got to go on a mission. I would rather have been on Mt. Everest- unable to breathe, than be around my family that year. I asked questions like: Why did I stay home from the mission? Why did I have to move back to Provo? Why couldn't I just be a hermit- without a phone- to tell me of another sibling whose plans work out? Kathy had Elina Mae Caine. so cute, even if it was unbearable being around the rest of the fam!
~After a year & 1/2 of not being able to go (AZ schools are expensive), I actually loved school! I would have dropped out during the earlier semesters, if it wasn't for the Pell Grant that I'd have to pay back. This time I got in the groove and actually talked to my professors and classmates, instead of being such a worry wort, redoing papers about 5 times. My favorite class of all time: Power Yoga. Now this is a skill I can use throughout my life. Oh to balance like I used to... Bought my third and best working car, but no name. Maybe that's the key!

2007 Basically the same as 2006, but I became a busy-holic, getting really involved with school, volunteering, etc. I worked at the UVSC library, Christie's Universal Interiors, and interned then worked at the Center for Women and Children In Crisis. Yeah for fantastic co-workers!! Meghan and Ally, the UVSC aides, I love you guys :D
~It was still hard to deal with the fam. especially when my sister got to go through the temple at 18, and my brother got home. There was Christmas drama as well, but that too turned out better than I expected. Kristy had grandbaby #4, Kaden Nathan Cook.
~I was sick of roommates after a couple of dumb situations. Lived with Cheryl again, then moved out on my own to a cottage, even including a loft. For Christmas we had 19 people in my tiny studio apartment- size- cottage! Started hanging out with Jana and Megan from the ward, So fun!

2008 Worked at the crisis center (dv and rape), volunteered on the Utah County Rape Crisis Team, and was a research assistant for a professor (i.e. data entry, and test scoring) dealing with hyper-sexual adults. A volunteer said that I must be hyper-sexual (because it seemed that my life revolved around that subject)! It's still hard to have a positive outlook on life. I became a mediator on the court roster, working with parents and teens with truancy issues. Graduated but didn't walk (I already did for the Associates) from UVU two days before it changed to a university. Applied to grad school! Ok it was only one, and obviously I haven't gone yet.
~ My niece Jenna was born (to the nineteen year old sister), and somehow visiting her made me like my family again. How does a baby change things? I only know it did for me. "Hay Hay Hay Days" became "DAEs (sibling dates)," with Darren, Annie, Emily and me . Other babies: Sheri had Thomas Alan Bailey, and Kathy had Aaron Thomas Caine.
~Loved my singles ward, mainly because a lot of the people were my age. Visiting Teaching has never been so fun. I miss that. I became less mad at God, really passage of time calms things quite a bit.
~ Moved to Cedar City, with the intention of going to Florida and Alaska before grad school.... only I fell in love with Southern Utah again, met Nate, started dating, and decided to stay for awhile. Worked with a little disabled boy, and learned how to make breakfast for a large family. I think the breakfasts that actually turned out well were more exciting than an A grade :)

2009- See previous posts :D , basically I got Mono & EBV for two(ish) months and was glad it wasn't the possible 18 months for adults. I broke up with Nate, the second serious relationship that I have broken off, came to the conclusion that it is harder to be the "dumper" than the "dumpee," I really hope I haven't ruined his life. I lost my job because I was sick, and you can't leave a disabled child alone for two months...
~Now I've begun to feel too busy to have a job (yes I'm still looking, but I don't know what I want exactly)! I've read more than I have in a long time, found exciting family history info, and started projects that I never had time for before. I'm having fun, though the thought of starting over -yet again- wasn't too exciting at first. I have lived in Enoch of all places for 7 months, and I am actually hoping to find a job HERE rather than moving again. WOW, things change. The idea of staying at home as anything used to terrify me, I like working, but now I'm loving my stay at home- sister role :D
~Kristy had Autumn Elizabeth Cook. Baby #8, making the girls and boys even. Who is next in the baby race? My next goal/plan: buy an RV and take all of my nieces/nephews touring with me during the summers.

TAG, YOU'RE IT!

A Day in the Life of an *Unemployed* Single Mormon

This is what my day looked like today. Are you jealous, or do you feel sorry for me?

~Woke up at 8 a.m., an hour earlier than usual because I actually went to bed before 2 a.m.
~Exercised by running up and down the stairs, and doing crazy moves.
~My mom comes into the front room in the middle of a waving-my-arms-move, copy cats me, and asks if I want to come in for family prayer? I tell her I can't breath enough for that!
~ Walk outside for a bit, but turn around at the end of the driveway. There's still frost on the ground!
~ Get ready for the day, listening to Kathy's old mix of soft music for background music.
~Take my dad to work, drop Annie off at Wal-mart to shop at the jazzy, clearance sidewalk sale, and go to Sally Beauty Supply to get perm solution.
~ The "Real" Cosmetologist intimidates me with her hair and makeup, even if she is older! (I of course looking ragged, because who wants to wear good clothes that could be ruined by perm solution?)
~ Shop with Annie at the sidewalk sale, but we came up with less than $6 dollars, and everything is 3$. She limited it to one great shirt for her Europe trip, which I plan on wearing before then :)
~Try to cash a cashier's check (Why does my grandma love them? They are hard to work with) from Grandma S. for Annie's Europe fund. -no go.
~Visit with our old family friends (one good thing about Wal-mart: you're sure to find friends there), Georgia and Lloyd. I love and miss those guys! They told us that they remembered holding us on their laps while in the Paragonah Ward... the good old days for sure.
~ Drive to Kathy's to perm her hair, knock on all the doors to no avail... I remember that it's Wed. and she might be at play group. We have no cell phone!
~Drive to the play group, find Kathy and the kids, hang out in the sun for a minute, then decide to walk back to Kathy's to get exercise and train for Europe.
~ Admire the first real sunburn of the year, that's actually from the sun not a reaction to the temple :)
~ Get to Kathy's again, eat lunch (Olives with Ranch is goooood), play with Elina and Aaron, get Kathy's hair wet, but she has to feed Aaron before we get to anything.
~ Get her hair wet again, and do a quick cut.
~Aaron is still crying so she takes care of him for awhile, and I check my marriage project for new comments. I love the new ones, but wish someone would translate the Spanish one for me (Paola, do you like to translate?)
~ Aaron falls asleep, so we can get to the perm.

~ I wrap Kathy's hair while Elina is having a blast squirting water from the spray bottle into her mouth, onto her hands, or in Kathy's mouth :)
~ Take Kathy outside to put the stinky stuff on... Look around the corner to make sure none of her young women can see her, then we get started.
~ We wait while it processes. I play a little with Elina outside, eat Kathy's homemade bread...
~ Finish the perm, and rinse it out, but now both Elina and Aaron are awake- Kathy feeds Aaron again, and Annie watches both kids, yipee!
~ Cut Kathy's hair into a cute A-line, take pictures of her dressed up for the "Where's Waldo" event where the YW leaders dress up and hide around Wal-Mart... Very cute! She should dress like that every day ;)


~ Hang out for a bit, and realize that most of the day is over. It's 4 pm or so.
~ Go through town, to my bank to deposit my check (Yeah, I get paid for doing hair! that doesn't happen often :D), to Annie's bank to deposit the cashier's check (Duh, it's only hard to cash them, not deposit them. Good observation Kathy), to the DI where we see mom, who gives us money, then to Teriyaki Stix to use Annie's coupons. Stop by Heather's, but she's not home, then drive home.
~ Realize the time, see Annie rush around, Em and Darren run in, and all leave for Mutual, while I watch a couple of episodes of the Cosby Show.
~ Read more of my grandma's journal. She said that when I was born I looked like a Robinson, and nothing like my sister Sheri. Too true! The only thing we have in common (in physical characteristics) is the nose and weak teeth. It was interesting seeing how she experienced the week that Cindy was born (my eight years younger sister). The 5 older kids stayed at my grandma's for 9 days. She cleaned my mom's house, and made all the food for a week, telling my mom's visiting teachers not to come until the next week! I remember being so sad, because they wouldn't let us go home and see the baby or mom very often, even though it was only a few blocks away. I even prayed to "help us be happy during family prayer!" Grandma wrote that my grandpa said, "I'll second that" under his breath. I guess it was a hard week for all of us :s ...
~Switched back and forth between American Idol (I like Alexis, how did Anoop get back on?), and Dr. Phil. I don't usually like Dr. Phil, but this was about the "Octa-mom." I'm glad the family of 15 is being helped. Personally I think it's kind of a strange situation, but judging her isn't going to help those kids. Yeah for people who are willing to give of their time and money! Even if it's controversial, I'm glad they're caring about the best interests of the children.
~ Started typing my blog, went upstairs for scriptures and prayer, came back to finish, and now it's time for bed.

What a day!

Priceless Treasures- family history

I love the information I'm getting from my grandparents who are still living! It's much more fun than just reading of someone you've never met. I visited my grandma Robinson the other day, and she actually lent me her compiled journal. It's funny because she said, "You must be really bored to want to read that!" I couldn't believe it. I've already learned so much from the journal, which is 588 typed, double sided pages in the large, almost 11 x14 size papers. It's just her first volume. Second is to come. Why would people think that their posterity wouldn't want to read their writings? To me it is priceless, absolutely priceless to get a glimpse of my grandma's life when she was my age.

She then told us that she burned her high school journal! We asked if it was because she talked about boys, and she said she was scared of boys in high school, but she sure liked them! :D How cute, except that now we can't see who it was that she wrote about. It's funny because I was scared of boys in high school too, and she didn't like math either. We have so much in common.

After reading a few excerpts out loud, my brother Darren got out his journal and started writing! I feel inspired to do the same, or at least print off my blog entries to be my journal. That's easier than writing in cursive on bumpy pages.

If I were a rich (wo)man

First of all, if I were rich, I would give money to my little sis. Annie, who is trying to raise money for Ireland! She's my inspiration because who else would take the time to make suckers every day to send to the high school to get some money? If anybody has any fund-raising ideas, let me know.

Secondly- I wouldn't be thinking of the jobs I've been thinking about. I just got off my daily search for "the job," and all I can say is "I'm not that desperate"... YET. How desperate do you have to be to take a job as a hotel clerk (I actually love working at hotels, but see what's next), for a measly $6.55 p/h, and you have to work every Friday, Sat, and Sunday night? Again, I am not that desperate, nor am I going to give up my Sabbath Day observance (Yes, I've changed since I used to work Sundays at the resorts where I lived. Thankfully they set the schedule so I could at least attend church) for a job! Also, the other opening involved retail. From past experience, I know that the retail stores DO NOT want me! I remember needing to suggest a book when I actually couldn't stand the author. I told the girl all of the reasons people buy her books, but had to be honest and say, "I don't like the author at all, but you might!" So much for up-selling. . .

I'm still feeling like I want to stay in Cedar (shock of my life that I don't want to move), and I hope it doesn't come to actually having to move again. Did I mention that Walmart even has a hiring freeze? I of course feel a little bit sorry for myself, until I think of all my friends who don't have jobs, and have families to feed/shelter. Good luck my friends! Thankfully I got my tax return, so my small bills can be paid for the next six months. Not everyone is so lucky.

The I LOVE MY MARRIAGE project.

Wow, I didn't know how long it would take to make a Facebook page. I couldn't even figure out how to post it, and tried to send invites to my sisters about 6 times before I figured that it wasn't even published yet. After hours and hours of working on it (Though you probably can't tell) I am done! Somehow Blogger seems more simple. If you have a Facebook account, and you feel like posting on my page, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I might even consider being your friend forever and forever.

I'm sorry if you are my friend on Facebook, I have your email address, and you read my blog. That means you've probably heard of my project at least three times now. For background information: I've been talking of wanting to write a book that tells what people love about their marriages for a long time. Since I have a great deal of extra time lately, I thought I might as well start a project with that in mind. I just wanted people to share their experiences, the great things about their marriage, and maybe get something from it. For me it's always a good thing to look at the positive aspects of my life, and sometimes have to do it on purpose. Also, I figure this can help me get a better view of marriage, since I do have a skewed one. I love the idea of hearing from real people instead of marriage researchers alone. Oh- background on that: I really have read a lot of books and attended a lot of classes on the topic, and I think it's time to hear from ordinary people... Maybe someday it will pay off? That means I actually will write a book, or someday I'll be the one writing a blurb about how great my marriage is :)


Here is the email I sent to people. If you want to leave a comment here, I can paste it onto my Facebook page. Thanks!!

Dear friends and family,
I've been working on a Facebook page showing positive things about marriage, and I'd love it if you would post! I personally tend to look at the negative aspects of marriage more than the good, so think of it as giving hope to all of the single people out there. I might someday compile the information into a book, so think of it as posting for posterity :D If you don't have a Facebook account, you can just respond to this email, and I'll enter your comments on the page.

What do you love about your marriage? Feel free to tell a favorite memory, send a cute picture, or just write one line about the things you love in your marriage. If you could leave your first name and the length of your marriage at the bottom of your email, that would be great.

Thanks in advance for those of you who would like to post,

Carrie

Abuse--- don't worry it's short.

As I've listened to people talking about the celebrities dealing with domestic violence, one thought has come to mind: The question should be:

WHY DOESN'T HE STOP HITTING HER? NOT, WHY
DOESN'T SHE LEAVE?????

People need to get over blaming abuse on the victims. Seriously, get over it.


Disclaimer: I believe everyone is responsible for their own actions. Women can expect respect, and if they don't get it, they are responsible for their decisions in relation to that. Men are responsible for how they treat women, and need to take accountability for that. It just bugs me to death that few blame the men, expecting them to change/repent. It's like they're helpless, and since they can't help themselves it falls on the woman to leave. Ugggh

Random things that make me go, hu? part 2

What the, what the?

Sorry to all of you stucco lovers out there, but I don't get stucco houses. The gigantic monstrosities, with microscopic yards, within arms distance of the neighbors flabbergast me even more! This is of course from a girl who lives in a double-wide built on top of a partially finished basement. Who am I to talk?

I think it's funny when people say "we started late" when they're talking about their families. The reason that it's funny, is that most of the time the person talking is a whole lot younger than me, and they have a whole lot more of a husband and kids than I do :)

What's with the economy? I don't get it. Is it the gas prices' fault? Global Warming? Or just people's (ok, and the government's) unwise management of finances? I'm sure you could add certain people's dishonesty to the pot as well.

What's the idea behind a blog dedicated solely to complaints about being single? Maybe I'm the only one, but my every waking hour ISN'T spent thinking about being an old maid ! ! ! When a thought does come to me, as in "I wish I were 'starting late' with a family already," it's most likely followed with a thought like, "Guys in the Celestial Kingdom might be worth waiting for." ;)

My dad's family is hard to understand sometimes. Plain and simple. Maybe it's so we can learn patience, and to love people for who they are, not what we wish they would be? Maybe it's because of the double-wide that we don't fit in?

While looking at the newly installed traffic feed, I thought, "Why would people from Florida/Massachusetts/North Carolina read my blog?" Cedar I can understand, though it's mainly me, as I check to see how the new stuff is working... Is it malfunctioning?

My sister thought "A day in the Life of a Single Mormon" wasn't a good title for me. What? Am I not single, and am I not Mormon? Maybe she thought it too negative. I honestly don't see why, and I'm not even being sarcastic.

Hu?

This I feel

I've found that one of the greatest sorrows in my life is to realize how many of my friends (and the number seems to be growing) decide to walk away from the glorious truths of the gospel. There have been times in my life that I haven't been close to the spirit, times when I've loved others more than God, and times when I was more despairing than I thought imaginable because of it. During those times I looked back and saw where I once was, and knew I wanted that peace and direction that the spirit gives again. With that said, seeing others taking the hard road saddens me. It just breaks my heart- knowing how much the spirit helps me in my life- to see my friends just slowly slip away. It makes me wonder how our Heavenly Father feels. He sees many of His children suffer, yet they refuse His loving hand that is outstretched to help them.

http://www.ldsmissionaryplaque.com/christus_03.jpg

I wish we could see more than what is going on here and now. How fickle we human beings can be. What can I do for my friends? I want them to feel what I feel, and know what I know. I only hope my prayers will help.

I've Learned

This week I've learned that:

• Paola is a very helpful friend! Isn't my new template great?
• I'm not the only one who doesn't know what in the world to do next, it's a worrisome time for many.
• I admire the Amish (I got hooked on Beverly Lewis' books, and there happen to be about 4 different series) because:

They live simply and don't "need" materialistic things to make them happy.

They love families, and look forward to getting married and raising kids (I wish it were easy for me to say the same).

Children are considered special.

They take care of their old, widowed, and those in need (they don't buy insurance, but put money into a shared account to help in dire circumstances).

They practice non-resistance and forgiveness. This is something I can definitely improve on.

http://www.dowdlefolkart.com/images/artwork/Amish---Father.gif

• My cousin Heather is the funniest person I know. She was telling us about her "boring" life and we didn't stop laughing for an hour.


• I use too many exclamation points!


• I have been feeling content, even though my circumstances aren't exactly cheery. Contentment used to be the "ever seeking, never finding" feeling for me. It's nice to feel now.


• I love the Savior and everything about the Restored Gospel; more and more every day.


• If it weren't for chocolate, I'd be a very healthy eater. I blame it on my mom, because who can resist when there's candy/chocolate at every turn in this house?


• I don't like going to sleep. I've been staying up waaaayy too late lately. What am I avoiding?


• When asked the question in the Stake Women's Conference: "What does it take to make you happy, and what is keeping you from radiating light?" I came up with 5 things I need to be happy. 1. Spirituality, if I don't take time for that, everything else feels out of place. 2. Exercise, I'm slowly getting back to moving, and I love the sore muscles! 3. Service, it gives my life more meaning and purpose. 4. Nature, winter is hard because I can't hike. 5. People, I need to be able to connect with others. . . When I'm lax about any of these things, my inner light isn't so bright.

http://thereisnoothername.com/images/person-holding-candle.jpg

Mormon Messages

I got chills watching the "Are We Christian?" movie. What a great idea for strengthening testimonies and sharing the gospel!

Babies are taking over!

There's nothing like a wedding for mixed emotions.

Ben and Leah Harrison! I'm so happy for my cousin. How did they do it?


Woot Woot, Smooches!


"Waiting in the cold"


Ha ha, they only thought they were out of the line of fire.

The Best Enoch Stake Women's Conference

Wow, what a day it was yesterday. Saturday was the end of a long week that included a lot of self anger because I can't seem to make things work out- ever, a lot of pain as memories were dredged up from the pit of despair, and a lot of wanting to be alone while in the midst of a family wedding celebration. I came home from Orem exhausted and didn't want to attend the planned on conference. The next day my mom kind of woke me up, and I dragged myself to the meeting about 15 minutes late. . . By the end of the sessions, I felt alive again! I saw friends from my old wards, and sisters from my new ward even asked how I was feeling. I guess I'm not that invisible. I've decided that staying at home for months does something to your brain.

Besides the social aspect of it, the spiritual boost was sorely needed, and I am so grateful for the timing of it. A couple of seminary teachers taught us about finding joy in the scriptures. I left with references to great quotes, and ideas for drinking in the word instead of just reading through. A personal issue with scriptures/prayer/fasting/tithing etc. for me, is that I've done these things for most of my life. Everyone promises great blessings for staying faithful, but at times I just don't see it. Sometimes (not all of the time) I wonder, "What's the point?" I'm doing all of these things, but my life stinks! It's times like these (feeling the spirit in a conference or while reading the scriptures) that make all of the work worth it. Why would anyone give you a gift that you're not willing to work for? In pondering more on that, I've realized that I have never in my life received a blessing the second I start to do something good. I decided to be better at reading the scriptures more than a month ago, and I'm finally feeling the blessing of that decision now. Yeah!

The next class I went to really made me think. It was "Finding Joy in Health and Inner Beauty." I expected it to be about dieting or something, but the speaker who is a dietitian, said that the spirit prompted her to speak on something else. She showed a picture that her little girl drew a few years ago. The drawing was of Mommy, and the woman had straggly hair, and a horridly mean look on her face. Who wants to look like that? She mentioned that it is inner beauty, kindness, peace, charity etc. that we seek. It probably didn't matter how much make up she wore the day her daughter drew the picture! The main message that I got from the talk was to listen to your body and spirit. What does my soul need more/less of? It knows what it needs! I loved that she said to eat what you need, not to stress about dieting etc. She then spoke of extremes from not listening. Are you too obsessed with your outer shell, loosing weight, dying hair etc. and not worried enough about your spirit? There was a story of a plump woman who made goal after goal for her new year's resolutions, all about weight. This woman then looked at her husband's goals. They included being a better husband/father, being more kind, spiritual etc. She realized that she need to focus more on the inside. On the other side of it, have you as a woman, completely lost yourself as you've seen to others' needs? Do you not take care of yourself because you feel it's selfish? We are daughters of GOD!!! Both extremes take away from our true identities.

The speaker told of some experiences from her own marriage. When she was first married, she was very selfish. She had a list of things that she wanted her husband to do, and decided that when he did them she'd be happy. He wasn't doing them, and she wasn't happy for a long time. She then realized what charity was, that it is kind, forgiving etc. and how selfish she was being. Now she gets up in the morning and fixes him orange juice, and kisses him when he comes in from work. Guess what, she's happier! The message I got was that you can't look for outside influences to make you happy.

For the other side (with a disclaimer that her husband is a great husband), she told us that she had heard about the 5 Love Languages book and wanted it for her birthday. Her husband gave it to her, and even gave her the day off so she could read it (I'm assuming this was a Saturday). It was an "ah ha" moment when she finally realized that she felt loved by quality time! But when she told her husband, they got into a huge argument. He was hurt/angry because he had been doing it "wrong" for the past however many years. The argument lasted for a week, and on Sunday they visited her parents' ward. She felt guilty for ever bringing it up, and told her husband that she wouldn't talk about it ever again. As she took the sacrament, she was still feeling unsettled, and felt like she should get a blessing from her dad. This was weird, because she just doesn't talk about her relationship with her parents! She finally asked him for a blessing, and in it was a surprising message. The Lord told her that, "You are a daughter of God, and you need to feel loved." It is not selfish to feel loved! Imagine that.

I enjoyed her last little story, because it dawned on me that people don't always take time to become self aware. It took her how long to figure out her love language? I realized that not everyone is a psych major, and they haven't taken a million personality/conflict style/family tests to figure themselves out. I kind of laughed, because I think about that stuff all the time. Love languages somehow comes up in the first few weeks of dating someone, as well as conflict styles, birth order, etc. Maybe I think too much, because somehow I'm the one without a relationship, while those who aren't so self reflective are the ones with the husbands/kids. Maybe that will be my mission, helping others understand themselves better? And the others can help me deal with relationships! We can all work together to become more like our Heavenly Father.

In reflecting on the message, I always wonder where the line is between being selfish and charitable. I guess you just need to follow the spirit and listen to your soul to figure it out. It's just sad that women tend to think that the only worth they have is from serving others. Serving is good, but your worth is not tied to things you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you really think God only loves us because of how ragged we are from giving to others? He loves us because of who we are, not what we do... Why would she think it selfish to tell her husband what will make her feel loved? It's selfish to have needs? Again, as a daughters of God we need to feel loved. The speaker made the point that while we do have that need, we can't be uncharitable/unkind/hurtful in our wanting it. We have to have patience as we teach others how to show it to us. All I can say is, watch Fireproof. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. I'm hoping that includes relationships for me. I felt picky, selfish, and hurtful after my last break up (I'm not used to being the "dumper"). I'm now realizing that as a daughter of God, it's OK to want and expect certain things from a relationship. Why else would you enter into one? It may never happen for me, but I'm glad to know that it's OK to have needs, and that it's good to take a step back and look at concerns before you get more serious. The day before the conference, as I sat in the sealing room waiting for my soon-to-be-married-cousin, I looked at a chandelier and thought about hope. As I observed it I thought, "I have about as much hope for a me in a good marriage as that little crystal, and I'll need as much as the whole chandelier to make it there." How do I get there? All things, ALL THINGS through the power of Christ. If He wants me there, He'll get me there, just like Nehemiah. That I can have faith in.

Inspiration/revelation

Today the scriptures came alive for me. This could have something to do with my stake women's conference yesterday, but more on that later... I was reading Elder Hales' talk about Christian Courage, and he spoke of Nehemiah. I realized that I don't really remember the story so I looked it up! What an example he was. Nehemiah was the cup bearer to the king of Persia, who ruled the Jews in captivity, after Nebuchadnezzar. Nehemiah heard that Jerusalem was in ruins, and he had the courage to speak to the king. Surprisingly, he got permission to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the walls and gates of the city. Nehemiah had each person build up a part of the wall, then made sure they were armed with weapons because the surrounding people hated the idea of the Jews returning. The story reminded me of Captain Moroni, a story I know much better. I now realize that I've neglected the Old Testament for a long time, and it's time for that to change.

As I read of Nehemiah, I felt inspired to:
1. have courage, be believing, and trust in God. There were so many things against the people, yet they persevered.

2. This kind of goes with it, but to plead with Heavenly Father for help in hard tasks. It's another testament of how one person can be a huge influence for good.

3. Each person was given a section of the wall to build, and it's the same for us. We only have to worry about our section of the world, or our circle of influence. I found it interesting that each person or group was named and what part they were in charge of. It may have been small, but together the people did a great work.

4. The passages even mentioned singers for the temple. Does anyone know more about that? Maybe it was like the organists and ward choirs of today? Apparently even then, more than work was needed. I love it that the Lord has given us things to uplift and make us happy, like music to help us along our path of life.

5. After the wall was complete the people were able to build houses inside the wall. There was physical protection. Then Ezra read the Law of Moses, which apparently hadn't been kept while in captivity. All of the people repented, agreeing to follow the commandments again (spiritual protection, we need both)! This made me think of King Benjamin, and general conference in the present time. How repentant am I after hearing the words of the prophets?

6. Even though the Jews were in captivity and ruled by the Persians, God saw fit to make things happen for his glory. What if Nehemiah wasn't given the assignment of cup bearer? What if the king was hard-hearted against the people? I love it that Heavenly Father will give us personal revelation, and the courage to act, even when things aren't going right in our lives. Am I "waiting for lightning, while He quietly whispers my name?" (from the song, Walk on, by Machael Webb).

7. Heavenly Father makes situations happen. Sometimes it is the tiniest, hardest to see events, that eventually lead to Jerusalem for Nehemiah, or exaltation for me and you! I think of Joseph Smith and his family. You could say it was just droughts and poverty that brought his family to New York, but the way I see it the world waited for thousands of years for that drought, figuratively and realistically. How did Joseph end up just miles away from the Gold plates? I know it was God's power that brought him there. I can see it so easily in other's lives, but sometimes it's hard to see in my own. How can loosing everything, once again, be good for me? I have the feeling that I won't have to wait for 1,000 years to see the Lord's hand in my life. There are already small blessings I can see now.

It's times like these that make me want to shout for joy. Maybe I don't feel completely void of fear, but in this moment when I'm feeling the spirit strongly, everything else seems to melt away. I am at peace.