Why is it that people think it's OK to joke with me about getting engaged? I am still dating a certain person, but the word engagement still makes me gag and want to throw up! You would think that after my "lovely dating history" people would just not say stuff, but I guess not.
The story isn't really that bad, but if it wasn't my grandma I'd be mad. I went to my grandma's during the Priesthood Session of General Conference and she was showing me how to quilt. She is one amazing lady, because she makes ginormous hand quilted quilts for weddings (2 months of work), and small baby quilts for the new babies in the family (1 week to make). With 37 (?) grand kids it's pretty time consuming. In the time it took me to quilt about 5 inches, she had three rows done. How do they do it? Anyway, back to the story: I asked if anyone was engaged because she just attended my cousin's wedding, and she said something about nobody but the possibility of me :/ It's only been about a month and 1/2, come on!!!
The problem with the engagement joking is that the word alone makes my stomach knot up and I feel like puking. I know that others have had positive experiences with engagements/dating/marriage, and I'm really hoping it's a possibility for me, but so far in my life any time it came near to getting that serious, life became unbearable. I remember when I was officially engaged to Luke, I went for a month feeling sick to my stomach, and feeling anxiety/stress at the thought of any marriage plans. We were engaged for two more months after that before I finally broke it off. It could be that those feelings were the "stupor of thought" talked about in the scriptures, and I felt like that because it wasn't right, but still I'd rather not go through that again.
So, in case you feel like asking me if I'm engaged yet, I'm putting off that word for as long as humanly possible. And if you actually do ask that, expect a glare or two. Is it possible to get married without being engaged? That would be the ideal :D Maybe I'll just change the word to
. . . nice calm relaxing time before a person gets sealed? Yah, it doesn't help. I always thought eloping was a great idea (to the temple of course).
1 comment:
I was once given some really good advice. Engagement is a time for you to know for sure if getting married is right. If things get better (and I mean your desire to be together, et.) then you can know it is right. But if you feel worse, than it probably isn't right. You can ask the Lord to "stop you" if it is wrong, and He will. Side note: the shorter the engagement, the sooner you will get stopped. . . or the happier you will be cause you didn't have to wait for your Love!
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