What a Wonderful World

Well, it's been an interesting week. Last week was the week from ... not a good place. I was ready to pack my bags, and live as an old maid in my mom's basement for the rest of my life. It started with me REALLY not wanting to come home after church on Sunday. It was hard to feel the spirit slowly drain away, the further I got from the church. Then other things added up to me feeling that I felt like the biggest looser in the world! It was yet another "quarter life" crisis for me, as: 1. They hired a 16 yr old at the front desk (What's wrong with me, why don't I have a "real life" and a "real" job yet???). 2. My eight years younger sister announced she is expecting another baby. (I'm really excited for them, and can't wait to meet the new Ferree baby; but I feel sorry for myself. Why don't I have a family yet?). 3. There were a lot of angry guests, which in turn made my managers angry, and I was sooo sick of being "yelled" at from both sides! 4. The atmosphere here is still pretty bad (Darren and his scout friends came to hike Harney yesterday and there were some issues, leading to people screaming the "F" word at each other... Sorry Darren).

Since I can't seem to make my life work, why try? Even if that general authority said not to, I was ready give up and be a basement dweller/or at least a beach bum....

This past week I've had a lesson in the bigger perspective. A lot of good things have happened, but that's not really the source of the change. A couple of friends asked me if I wanted to spend the day with them after church, and it was definitely an answer to prayer! Little things have continued to happen, and I feel like I'm seeing the world with new eyes. When I got home from church/hanging with members/fireside, I started talking with another worker. He was raised in the foster care system, and one of the families he stayed with were LDS. He was baptized, but fell away, and as we talked he said things like, "I've done too many bad things to come back." This one conversation made me realize that I HAVE EVERYTHING. Everything I'll ever need. While our temporal circumstances are pretty similar, this guy is so lost, and I feel like Heavenly Father has been blessing me left and right.

I have a wonderful family who loves me! They send me letters and a care package. They fill me in on their lives, and we are still close even after the years, and changes to the family.

I have the gospel in my life--- I feel a little like that sister from Pres. Monson's talk: Out of all my countrymen (co-workers), I am the most happy because I have a testimony!!! I know that heavenly Father is my father, and that He guides me in what I should do. I know that the church is true, and it is the way to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!

I have used the atonement in my life, and I know that anyone can change, becoming better every day. I know that Christ came to change us, and help us live life more fully. I know that repentance is possible, and that even if we do horrible things we are able to come back to the Savior, because of His suffering for us.

I really do live in a beautiful area. My member friends made the hour trip so that we could have institute up here at Sylvan Lake. They were in awe of the hotel etc. It made me see it again, because as you're dealing with people, or just going from the dorms to work etc, you forget the beauty that surrounds you. Another big picture reminder.

Even if I never do figure out what to do with my life, if I never get that career that I think I should have by now, and even if I never do get married while in this life- I already have everything to make me the most happy person here. I have a testimony, what more does anyone need?