A Day in the Life of a Single Mormon: Ha Ha

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Ha Ha

A conversation between a wedding guest and a front desk clerk:
Clerk: "How did everything go?"
Guest: "Well, the bartender poured the drinks too strong, so I got drunk, and they put make up on my face and took pictures! I guess I had a good time. I blame the bartender." (He happens to be an old man, with grey hair and a beard.)

:D Good times just keep rolling around here :D

1 comment:

Rachel said...: Hilarious; August 24, 2009 at 1:41 PM

Happy Thought Wall (fav. quotes)

~ Note to self, be rich one day- Shawn Spencer. ... "When a man asks you to bite his toe, you bite his toe!" Lassie to Gus
~‎"There are those whose primary ambition in life is to leave their names chiseled on some small corner of this globe. But this is folly. The greatest tragedy is not to die unknown by strangers, but unloved by our companions." - Richard Paul Evans (The Locket)
~Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. Unknown, but posted by Hera on FB.
How is it that governments spend so much on warfare and bypass the needs of their children, their greatest capital, their only hope for peace? ... there is no deficit in human resources-- the deficit is in human will. ~ Audrey Hepburn while working as a UNICEF goodwill ambassador. (Audrey Hepburn, an Elegant Spirit, by Sean Hepburn Ferrer, pg 193 & 197.)
~What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me." and, " I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."~Helen Keller
~ "Life is either a great adventure or nothing." and "So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good." and yet another, "Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. " ~Helen Keller
She keeps telling me, "Mom, I lost my brain!" (a mom talking about her daughter and her squeeze toy brain)
~"It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences." ~Audre Lorde
~ Look at this move: Sha-bam! Kathy put one rail road car on the Ticket To Ride board.
~The Importance of Quiet Time: “Because the Spirit is often described as a still, small voice, it is also important to have a time of quiet in our lives as well. The Lord has counseled us to ‘be still, and know that I am God.’ If we provide a still and quiet time each day when we are not bombarded by television, computer, video games, or personal electronic devices, we allow that still, small voice an opportunity to provide personal revelation and to whisper sweet guidance, reassurance, and comfort to us.” “Helping Others Recognize the Whisperings of the Spirit,” Ensign, Nov. 2009, 11
~ They have Caramel Crunch and Chewy Gobstoppers? This gas station is amazing! ~ Me.
~ I wish I knew some incredibly awesome single guy that I could get to follow your blog because he'd be sure to fall in love :-) ~ Cuz, Brittney
~Annie and Heather: Carrie's bridesmaids (btw, I'm not having brides maids if I ever get married) will wear things like a brown sweater over a red shirt up to their necks... ha ha!
~Seth: How do you like your steak? Me: left at the supermarket!
~Why am I the bad guy, I'm advocating adventure!! ~ Mark H.
~ “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”- Maria Robinson
~We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success; we often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery.” — Samuel Smiles (My life in a nutshell)
~ The future is as bright as your faith, Pres. Monson. May 2009 Ensign.
~ Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 70th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. ~the song, "Wear Sunscreen"
~ Keep close to Nature's heart... and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean. John Muir
~ Me: They don't understand that it takes more than saying, "You're pretty, I want to be your boyfriend." ... Tyler: So you're saying that it won't work if I say you're pretty? Me: Do you want a green card too?
~Most of us don’t mind doing what we ought to do when it doesn’t interfere with what we want to do, but it takes discipline and maturity to do what we ought to do whether we want to or not. Joseph B. Wirthlin
~"Take a Break, Stay awake, for Safety's Sake (City of Enoch)." I hope we all take that message to heart :)
~ "Carrie and I keep arguing, what should we do?" "Move away from Carrie, she's just like that!" (Thanks Sheri)
~ NOT PERSONAL, You're dumping me and you say it's not personal??? (from Expiration Date)
~Our family shouldn't attend sporting events (after I said it's too bad that Darren's soccer team beat the other team 5-0. It's sad to be whipped that badly) !
~Apparently we don't gossip enough in this family. I didn't even know that.
~You're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you, don't you don't you don't ou! Wait, the game started?
~Grandma R. burned her high school journal!!!!
--Annie = We're the ugly ones that like to pick up the ducks instead of kill them! (After talking about cousins who make sure their makeup is done before hunting.)
--“The Lord is in the everyday things, not just the eternal, glorious things. It’s like the comparison between the ‘Hallelujah Chorus’ and quiet background music. He is in both, and knowing that provides a continuous awareness of happily-ever-after times in all of life.” Ardeth G. Kapp, Liahona, April 1983