So, today I've probably had the biggest crisis of faith that I can remember. I've already cried three times today, and I rarely cry! Why are things the way they are? Why doesn't God intervene? I feel like Gideon, only without the angel.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Scripture Power
I've found these scriptures, in the last few days, not really looking, yet finding them just the same. I've been feeling much like my usual self, when it comes to plans, yet I read these and remember that 1. God is in control, even though it sometimes feels like life is spinning in an uncontrollable, cyclic spiral, and that 2. Somehow my life fits into His plan for me. I find myself once again wishing that I could see what He can. I guess that's where good old fashioned faith that He knows more than me comes into play.
During institute we talked about Gideon, and that the Lord saved his people with just a few hundred men against thousands (the grasshopper analogy worked well here, since it's been the "year of the grasshopper" around here).
Judges 6:12-
12 And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him and said unto him the Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valor.
13 And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the Lord be with us, why then is all this befallen us [This could be any problem, I've said this many times]? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt? But now the Lord hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites.
14 And the Lord looked upon him, and said, go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the land of the Midianites. HAVE NOT I SENT THEE?
It's interesting that it took a lot of convincing for Gideon to do what he did, so maybe it's not too awful for me to need a little reassurance once in awhile. I've also felt like him, when he says, where are the miracles that our fathers talked about? me: Why do I have such a hard time sometimes, where are the angels pushing my "handcart?" But then the Lord swoops in, somehow making things work out (not that they have yet, but they have in the past, so I'm hoping). How long is patience required? I guess asking this question means I need more patience.
Scripture Number Two
D&C 127: 4 (middle of the paragraph)
and Let your diligence, and your perseverance, and patience, and your works be redoubled, and you shall in nowise lose your reward, saith the Lord of Hosts.
How has my diligence, perseverance, and patience been lately?????
Third Scritpure
While reading a slightly Christian novel (yeah for clean and funny books, Read Kimberly Stuart's "Act Two.") a scripture was mentioned. It was in the NIV version, so I'll find the King James Version. I like reading the Old English, because it makes it much more meaningful...
Jeremiah 29:10-14
10 For thus saith the Lord, that after seventy years [please don't let it be that long until my prayers are answered] be accomplished at Babylon I will visit you, and perform my good word toward you, in causing you to return to this place [of peace etc.].
11 For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord [Isaiah 55:8-9. We don't always know, or understand... we only see a piece of the pie], thoughts of peace, and not evil, to give you an expected end. [footnote: Jeremiah 31:17 AND THERE IS HOPE IN THINE END]
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
14 And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you...
And one more, from Emily's blog. Why did I get teary eyed as I read her "relationship" post? :
Alma 38: 5-6 “ …
5 I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
6 Now my son, I would not that ye should think that I know these things of myself, but it is the Spirit of God which is in me which maketh these things known unto me…”
During institute we talked about Gideon, and that the Lord saved his people with just a few hundred men against thousands (the grasshopper analogy worked well here, since it's been the "year of the grasshopper" around here).
Judges 6:12-
12 And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him and said unto him the Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valor.
13 And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the Lord be with us, why then is all this befallen us [This could be any problem, I've said this many times]? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt? But now the Lord hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites.
14 And the Lord looked upon him, and said, go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the land of the Midianites. HAVE NOT I SENT THEE?
It's interesting that it took a lot of convincing for Gideon to do what he did, so maybe it's not too awful for me to need a little reassurance once in awhile. I've also felt like him, when he says, where are the miracles that our fathers talked about? me: Why do I have such a hard time sometimes, where are the angels pushing my "handcart?" But then the Lord swoops in, somehow making things work out (not that they have yet, but they have in the past, so I'm hoping). How long is patience required? I guess asking this question means I need more patience.
Scripture Number Two
D&C 127: 4 (middle of the paragraph)
and Let your diligence, and your perseverance, and patience, and your works be redoubled, and you shall in nowise lose your reward, saith the Lord of Hosts.
How has my diligence, perseverance, and patience been lately?????
Third Scritpure
While reading a slightly Christian novel (yeah for clean and funny books, Read Kimberly Stuart's "Act Two.") a scripture was mentioned. It was in the NIV version, so I'll find the King James Version. I like reading the Old English, because it makes it much more meaningful...
Jeremiah 29:10-14
10 For thus saith the Lord, that after seventy years [please don't let it be that long until my prayers are answered] be accomplished at Babylon I will visit you, and perform my good word toward you, in causing you to return to this place [of peace etc.].
11 For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord [Isaiah 55:8-9. We don't always know, or understand... we only see a piece of the pie], thoughts of peace, and not evil, to give you an expected end. [footnote: Jeremiah 31:17 AND THERE IS HOPE IN THINE END]
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
14 And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you...
And one more, from Emily's blog. Why did I get teary eyed as I read her "relationship" post? :
Alma 38: 5-6 “ …
5 I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
6 Now my son, I would not that ye should think that I know these things of myself, but it is the Spirit of God which is in me which maketh these things known unto me…”
This week's happenings
- I shaved today! Definitely a noteworthy topic :)
- The leaves are already changing colors here, so I'm hoping that they last three weeks so Seth can see them :)
- Brittney, look what song I found! Remember singing this all the time when I lived with you???
- Exactly three weeks from today will be my last day of work, I'll be headed home to UT, and we'll see what happens then.
- My roommate Erica left about a week 1/2 ago :( I'm all alone in my dorm room, but it actually hasn't been too bad. Phone calls have helped!
- I'm the new Relief Society President in my branch. I love the sisters, and the branch here. If I end up living in UT, it'll be sad to leave them :'(
- Monday I taught the FHE lesson on reactivation. I have heard that there are 200 or so single people in the stake- since I got here, so I tracked down the list, went over it with the branch presidency, narrowed it down to just those in the Rapid Wards, then cut up the list, giving everyone people to contact within the next week. I hope it helps! We also had some amazing caramel apples that we were supposed to make two of, one for us, and one for a friend.
Countdowns: 3 weeks from today, done with my job. 1 week from today: Going to Rapid to sleep over, before leaving for UT for General Conference !!!!! on Friday :) 2 days from today: Relief Society Broadcast, leadership meeting, and dinner at the church :D 1 day from today: Serving at a wedding instead of going to Spear Fish Canyon to see the waterfalls :( 1 hour from now: it'll be almost 5 pm? I draw a blank. 1 minute from now: I'll publish this post.
- I've come upon a few great scriptures lately, more to follow on the next post...
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Good News Minute
Happy day, the horrid wedding guests left, and it's been pretty nice and calm around work for the past two days. I hope it lasts for the next 3 1/2 weeks!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Here's the thing.
I hate my job with a passion lately. I don't know why it's so much harder than it used to be, because now every complaining/yelling/demanding guest makes me want to QUIT as in RIGHT NOW. I used to, in my previous resort gigs, take complaints like nothing else, then go on like nothing had happened- we had more in Yosemite because we charged more for the rooms, and had about 5 rooms that EVERY DAY we'd hear from guests about... why is it so much more difficult now? 25 more days, 25 more days... how is that supposed to help, when I dread coming into work, and each day seems like an eternity? It's a good thing the plane ticket has been paid for, because I really would quit if not, or if the front desk didn't need me... ugh.
My assumptions:
1. I am old, and the whole "work for dirt, and get treated worse than dirt" isn't so adventurous anymore.
2. Maybe I'm more soft and wimpy now? I don't know about that, because I know I can still pack a punch, when it comes to saying mean things to the people closest to me. Too bad that wimpy-ness hasn't reached the other areas in my life.
3. It must be the air up here!! Though it's only about 700 feet above Cedar City in elevation, it must be the thin air.
4. After working with people in real need, spoiled tourists annoy me.
5. There aren't bears here, only deer. Who wants to handle rude people, when you can't even go bear searching? lol
My blog is too self obsessed, so here's the scoop on my familia:
Sheri: She was supposed to come visit me, but it looks like she'll be traveling to the East Coast instead :P Oh well. I'll try to live without them... but everything is closing anyway, so it wouldn't have been as fun as during the summer anyway. She's still homeschooling her three kids, and they're still the most energetic kids I've met.
Kristy: Is moving to their own house soon! Her babies are growing up too fast for my liking, but are oohhh so cute. Kristy's house is going to be, if it isn't official yet, the family gathering place any time we go to the Provo area. Thankfully she's moving into a big house, just for the occasion :D She still takes care of our family shared Verizon plan, which isn't too easy seeing who is on the plan. :D Go Koo ris E tae!
My assumptions:
1. I am old, and the whole "work for dirt, and get treated worse than dirt" isn't so adventurous anymore.
2. Maybe I'm more soft and wimpy now? I don't know about that, because I know I can still pack a punch, when it comes to saying mean things to the people closest to me. Too bad that wimpy-ness hasn't reached the other areas in my life.
3. It must be the air up here!! Though it's only about 700 feet above Cedar City in elevation, it must be the thin air.
4. After working with people in real need, spoiled tourists annoy me.
5. There aren't bears here, only deer. Who wants to handle rude people, when you can't even go bear searching? lol
My blog is too self obsessed, so here's the scoop on my familia:
Sheri: She was supposed to come visit me, but it looks like she'll be traveling to the East Coast instead :P Oh well. I'll try to live without them... but everything is closing anyway, so it wouldn't have been as fun as during the summer anyway. She's still homeschooling her three kids, and they're still the most energetic kids I've met.
Kathy: Dealing with lots of bumps and bruises lately in her family. Bryce biffed it on his bike and had to get stitches, Elina fell on/off? her bike and knocked her teeth, hopefully not making them dead permanently, and Aaron fell out of his stroller right before I called last. Too bad you can't child/adult proof the great outdoors! She's the most stable one of any of us, and even makes her own bread :)
Kristy: Is moving to their own house soon! Her babies are growing up too fast for my liking, but are oohhh so cute. Kristy's house is going to be, if it isn't official yet, the family gathering place any time we go to the Provo area. Thankfully she's moving into a big house, just for the occasion :D She still takes care of our family shared Verizon plan, which isn't too easy seeing who is on the plan. :D Go Koo ris E tae!
Skot: is as crazy as usual- the only one in college right now. Weird. Maybe I'll join him soon, which should be easy, since he has about 4 years left. He went skinny dipping!!!!!! This might be normal for other families, but I come from a practically puritan-prim -mostly girls- family. I remember when he got back from his mission and walked around in a towel- I still can't get over it.
Cindy: She's dealing without her Ryan for awhile :( She's become my errand runner for birthdays, because I've had her get things like flowers, balloons, and gift certificates for birthdays in Cedar. Thanks Cindy, you're a strong person- keeping up with Jenna, baby #2, Ryan being gone, living at Kathy's, and of course listening to me when I call. Hugs and kisses :*
Annie: is going to be a nanny in New Jersey!!! Nanny Annie, nanny Annie. She's dead if she even thinks of leaving before I get home... of course if she leaves, that means I'll simply have to visit her soon, so maybe it's all right if I only see her at general conference. The family seems nice, and hopefully not psychotic :)
Emily: she's as crazy as usual, adding more stuff to her already full schedule. Someday she'll slow down, but probably not until she's 100 and has to use a cane! She's the most "normal" American Teen that our family has seen.
Darren: Loves being back in UT, boo hoo :'( but good for him. He's still in Success, so he can get his Associates' when he graduates high school, he's also in track and cross country, and in a couple of choirs I think. I miss him.
Other "family" : WE MISS AND LOVE YOU GRANDYs!!!!!!!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Caving- The story of me not knowing I didn't have to work until 5 :)
After waiting a few days for the surprise factor (not that I'm lazy or get distracted at all), here is what happened:
The front desk manager and two of us clerks have been planning a trip to Jewel Cave, which is the second longest cave in the U.S., for a long time. Ruby set up the schedule specially so we could go at the same time and were supposed to be leaving at 1 so we could get there by 2 for the tour. I forgot all about it, thinking it was the next day, so I went jogging behind the lake that morning... I ended up going on the Sunday Gulch hike, which is a whole lot longer than usual, and I didn't have my phone with me... I went to eat in the employee dining room, and Ruby was down there. We talked for awhile and finally she asked, "are you ready to go?" There I was in my work out/hiking, sweaty glory, and I really hoped she was joking. "Isn't it tomorrow?" No, we're supposed to leave at 1! It was already 1... so I ran back to the dorms, showered, changed, and picked up the girls. We barely made it to the cave in time, and when we got there I had to run back because we had purses that aren't allowed in the cave. After the adventure underground, we got back just in time for me to go to work, at 5pm instead of the 2pm I expected. It was a fun but tiring day :D
Well, you could call it caving, but we went on an official tour, with a ranger to guide us. We didn't go through the miseries, which is so narrow that you have to military crawl for about 1/2 mile, taking your waste out with you, gross! Jewel Cave is a pretty neat cave, very long, and it has some large rooms to view... but I don't think I'm really into caves as much as others. I would've been fine with the 20 minute overview, but we were there for 1 1/2 hrs, and it seemed long. It was fun, and different, so all in all it was a good day.
The front desk manager and two of us clerks have been planning a trip to Jewel Cave, which is the second longest cave in the U.S., for a long time. Ruby set up the schedule specially so we could go at the same time and were supposed to be leaving at 1 so we could get there by 2 for the tour. I forgot all about it, thinking it was the next day, so I went jogging behind the lake that morning... I ended up going on the Sunday Gulch hike, which is a whole lot longer than usual, and I didn't have my phone with me... I went to eat in the employee dining room, and Ruby was down there. We talked for awhile and finally she asked, "are you ready to go?" There I was in my work out/hiking, sweaty glory, and I really hoped she was joking. "Isn't it tomorrow?" No, we're supposed to leave at 1! It was already 1... so I ran back to the dorms, showered, changed, and picked up the girls. We barely made it to the cave in time, and when we got there I had to run back because we had purses that aren't allowed in the cave. After the adventure underground, we got back just in time for me to go to work, at 5pm instead of the 2pm I expected. It was a fun but tiring day :D
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| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
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| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
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| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
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| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
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| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
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| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
Well, you could call it caving, but we went on an official tour, with a ranger to guide us. We didn't go through the miseries, which is so narrow that you have to military crawl for about 1/2 mile, taking your waste out with you, gross! Jewel Cave is a pretty neat cave, very long, and it has some large rooms to view... but I don't think I'm really into caves as much as others. I would've been fine with the 20 minute overview, but we were there for 1 1/2 hrs, and it seemed long. It was fun, and different, so all in all it was a good day.
Some Days- or best/worst of times
Some days it's hard to wake up at 5 am after working until 10 pm the night before.
Some days I really want to quit. Today it's because we're offering a special for 1/2off the price if you stay for two nights, BUT groups don't count. Guess how many spit-fire-mad wedding guests we get? Why would the park do this to us???? The extra money is not worth the stress. Whoever decided to not include groups should sit here at the desk when people refuse to sign that they'll pay, yell across the lobby that they'll be contacting the governor etc. etc. etc.
Some days I just want to move on...
...
Some days the sunrise is pretty :)
Some days my hair works with me, even when I'm bleary eyed with sleep.
Some days I get sweet guests who check out- loving their stay, and spend a few minutes talking about New York with me. :D
(I had to stretch back to previous days for the following)
Some days I get to talk to friends and family, and they keep me laughing throughout the whole conversation.
Some days I get to visit tourist spots for free with my VIP card
Some days I go with friends to said tourist spots, take silly pictures, then share them with the world.
Some days I even remember that I work at 5pm instead of 2pm! But that days wasn't Wednesday (story and pictures to follow)
Some days I really want to quit. Today it's because we're offering a special for 1/2off the price if you stay for two nights, BUT groups don't count. Guess how many spit-fire-mad wedding guests we get? Why would the park do this to us???? The extra money is not worth the stress. Whoever decided to not include groups should sit here at the desk when people refuse to sign that they'll pay, yell across the lobby that they'll be contacting the governor etc. etc. etc.
Some days I just want to move on...
...
Some days the sunrise is pretty :)
Some days my hair works with me, even when I'm bleary eyed with sleep.
Some days I get sweet guests who check out- loving their stay, and spend a few minutes talking about New York with me. :D
(I had to stretch back to previous days for the following)
Some days I get to talk to friends and family, and they keep me laughing throughout the whole conversation.
Some days I get to visit tourist spots for free with my VIP card
Some days I go with friends to said tourist spots, take silly pictures, then share them with the world.
Some days I even remember that I work at 5pm instead of 2pm! But that days wasn't Wednesday (story and pictures to follow)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Facebook status updates -- part 2
I keep thinking of more:
Carrie: 28 days? That seems so short and long at the same time. Good thing I only have one place left to visit.
Carrie: IS going to General Conference !!!!
Carrie: is arguing in her head with the idea of hope. Where do you draw the line between concern and hoping for the best?
Carrie: misses school, who knew that would EVER happen?
Carrie: has had only ONE annoying/complaining/uncooperative guest today. Probably a record.
Carrie: needs more money. then she needs to figure out how to get to Chicago and UT in the same week. Any ideas?
Carrie: is addicted to the Internet. Do facebook friends count as virtual relationships?
Carrie: still needs to get that golden banner- Where to get it and where to put it?
Carrie: loves nature, but isn't exactly a tree hugger. I think there are more important things to picket for, than using coal.
Carrie: can't wait for the mellenial day: no poverty, no abuse, no other crimes, the justice system really will be just, and the government will be righteously run. Oh that it would be in my day, but I will try for contentment until then.
Carrie: is feeling spoiled with phone calls and chats :)
Carrie: Needs ideas for visiting teaching with only about 5 girls.
Carrie: will never learn! Once the word hike gets into my brain, the thinking part leaves :)
Carrie: "As with companions so with books. We may choose those which will make us better, more intelligent, more appreciative of the good and beautiful in the world, or we may choose the trashy, the vulgar, the obscene, which will make us feel as though we've been wallowing in the mire."(quote from President David O. McKay -- taken from Our Refined Heavenly Home by Douglas L. Callister, Ensign, June 09)
Carrie: still wants another name, though Quinella was a bit extreme.
Carrie: thinks everyone should grow up in a town like Paragonah.
Carrie: loves the Hintons! They are more like grandparents to me. I'll have to look them up next year when they're back in UT after their mission.
Carrie: Loves you.
Carrie: 28 days? That seems so short and long at the same time. Good thing I only have one place left to visit.
Carrie: IS going to General Conference !!!!
Carrie: is arguing in her head with the idea of hope. Where do you draw the line between concern and hoping for the best?
Carrie: misses school, who knew that would EVER happen?
Carrie: has had only ONE annoying/complaining/uncooperative guest today. Probably a record.
Carrie: needs more money. then she needs to figure out how to get to Chicago and UT in the same week. Any ideas?
Carrie: is addicted to the Internet. Do facebook friends count as virtual relationships?
Carrie: still needs to get that golden banner- Where to get it and where to put it?
Carrie: loves nature, but isn't exactly a tree hugger. I think there are more important things to picket for, than using coal.
Carrie: can't wait for the mellenial day: no poverty, no abuse, no other crimes, the justice system really will be just, and the government will be righteously run. Oh that it would be in my day, but I will try for contentment until then.
Carrie: is feeling spoiled with phone calls and chats :)
Carrie: Needs ideas for visiting teaching with only about 5 girls.
Carrie: will never learn! Once the word hike gets into my brain, the thinking part leaves :)
Carrie: "As with companions so with books. We may choose those which will make us better, more intelligent, more appreciative of the good and beautiful in the world, or we may choose the trashy, the vulgar, the obscene, which will make us feel as though we've been wallowing in the mire."(quote from President David O. McKay -- taken from Our Refined Heavenly Home by Douglas L. Callister, Ensign, June 09)
Carrie: still wants another name, though Quinella was a bit extreme.
Carrie: thinks everyone should grow up in a town like Paragonah.
Carrie: loves the Hintons! They are more like grandparents to me. I'll have to look them up next year when they're back in UT after their mission.
Carrie: Loves you.
Monday, September 14, 2009
I'm still alive!
I saw my blog note on a friend's blog and realized that it's been four days since I last posted! This is to let all of you worried people know that I am still among the living, and I haven't even hiked this week except for the missionary hike up Harney. Whew, I knew you'd be worried.
Update: I love to see the temple, I went inside Saturday... It was a lovely experience, but I left wishing for more. I think that if you have to drive forever and ever, you should stay longer than one session. But what could I do? We didn't coordinate very well, so I thought everyone was leaving, but saw another branch member in the next session, but didn't know waht was going on, so we ended up going to lunch at a chinese buffett (I'm not a fan, I've been to two and the food isn't good. I like it better hot) to wait for Devin. Being in the temple was great this time. I got a lot of answers, and felt a stress relief... which will hopefully continue throughout this week.
Good news (possibly)! My branch is going to go to General Conference, and I might be able to go along; even though I'm only supposed to have 1 day off a week- it's past my contract date for ending the season, so maybe my manager will work with me. I'll talk to them as soon as they get in and let you know. Everybody meet at Cheryl's- if you know who she is of course- if not, call me and we can meet up! I'm so excited for it to work out, to be able to see my familia (hopefully), and of course the babies that I've been missing so much. It's sad that they won't even remember me, so it's a one sided missing-ness. Oh well, at least it's something to look forward to, hopefully.
Future Plans: Don't ask, I DON'T KNOW.
Dear Mr. Austin- feel free to leave a comment, since I know you read through my blog for an hour ;) And, while you're at it, feel free to skip parts!
Update: I love to see the temple, I went inside Saturday... It was a lovely experience, but I left wishing for more. I think that if you have to drive forever and ever, you should stay longer than one session. But what could I do? We didn't coordinate very well, so I thought everyone was leaving, but saw another branch member in the next session, but didn't know waht was going on, so we ended up going to lunch at a chinese buffett (I'm not a fan, I've been to two and the food isn't good. I like it better hot) to wait for Devin. Being in the temple was great this time. I got a lot of answers, and felt a stress relief... which will hopefully continue throughout this week.
Good news (possibly)! My branch is going to go to General Conference, and I might be able to go along; even though I'm only supposed to have 1 day off a week- it's past my contract date for ending the season, so maybe my manager will work with me. I'll talk to them as soon as they get in and let you know. Everybody meet at Cheryl's- if you know who she is of course- if not, call me and we can meet up! I'm so excited for it to work out, to be able to see my familia (hopefully), and of course the babies that I've been missing so much. It's sad that they won't even remember me, so it's a one sided missing-ness. Oh well, at least it's something to look forward to, hopefully.
Future Plans: Don't ask, I DON'T KNOW.
Dear Mr. Austin- feel free to leave a comment, since I know you read through my blog for an hour ;) And, while you're at it, feel free to skip parts!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
3 days, 17 hours to go
We're going on another temple trip. Somehow driving 6 hours, and leaving at 5 am make it more meaningful. I couldn't be more excited.
To remind me
So, today is a day of complaining guests, mad employees (upset at me, though it has nothing to do with my part of it), and cold weather. I needed to remember this talk.
Then my facebook friend Ann (never met her), mentioned something about grief, and moving past giving up hope. It made me ponder the idea of giving up hope. After some thought, I've decided that it is a good thing to stop hoping, for a change that will never happen. Of course there is always hope in the gospel etc. but if you spend your life hoping things were different, or hoping that the unchangeable will in fact change... it might be time to move through the grief of giving up hope- for that one specific thing. Acceptance can be healing- but what a hard thing it is to be human sometimes. If only I could see through God's all knowing eyes, feel His all powerful love, and know as He knows... NOW. That will have to wait, but at least I know that someday I'll be there. I told her that grief is messy, and usually needs tissue and chocolate. And of course good friends to share both.
Then my facebook friend Ann (never met her), mentioned something about grief, and moving past giving up hope. It made me ponder the idea of giving up hope. After some thought, I've decided that it is a good thing to stop hoping, for a change that will never happen. Of course there is always hope in the gospel etc. but if you spend your life hoping things were different, or hoping that the unchangeable will in fact change... it might be time to move through the grief of giving up hope- for that one specific thing. Acceptance can be healing- but what a hard thing it is to be human sometimes. If only I could see through God's all knowing eyes, feel His all powerful love, and know as He knows... NOW. That will have to wait, but at least I know that someday I'll be there. I told her that grief is messy, and usually needs tissue and chocolate. And of course good friends to share both.
Multiple Choice
Is driving an hour to get to a Redbox, then driving another hour the next day to return it:
a. Crazy
b. Completely logical and understandable
c. Frivolous
d. What needs to be done once in awhile, just to get a taste of reality, and to keep the insanity at bay.
I would say the A & C, but I'm already going to be going to Rapid every day this week, so I figure I might as well pick up a movie! Now, is driving two hours a day, just to go to things like institute, or to watch a movie in a theater:
a. Crazy
b. Completely logical and understandable
c. Frivolous
d. What needs to be done once in awhile, to get a taste of reality.
D Definitely!
a. Crazy
b. Completely logical and understandable
c. Frivolous
d. What needs to be done once in awhile, just to get a taste of reality, and to keep the insanity at bay.
I would say the A & C, but I'm already going to be going to Rapid every day this week, so I figure I might as well pick up a movie! Now, is driving two hours a day, just to go to things like institute, or to watch a movie in a theater:
a. Crazy
b. Completely logical and understandable
c. Frivolous
d. What needs to be done once in awhile, to get a taste of reality.
D Definitely!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Busy week highlights (starting on Thurs, going to next Sunday)
Thursday Night: Chuckwagon dinner with my coworkers :D It was a whole lot of fun, but would have been more fun with kids.
"Hokey Pokey"
Friday Night: Met with the missionaries and Joey/Joel. Joel wants to play basket ball in the full court at the church.
Saturday Night: Marshmellow/s'more night, ended up back at the dorm fire because we got kicked out of the Sheridan Lake group campsite :P
Sunday:
I have to work, but it's all in the name of attending the temple. Which is worse, working on Sunday, or not going to the temple when you have the chance? Emily left :'( , and we ate lunch at the Stevensons. Love them!
Monday: I'll hike Harney and maybe Little Devil's Tower with a group of missionaries- including sisters, don't get any ideas, though I think I should give them Annie's address so they can get together when they get home.
Tues: Institute opening social. BBQ and volley ball, should be a blast.
Wednesday: Movie night with Sierra! I love her, and hope to love the movie, Julie and Julia.
Thursday: no plans yet. - maybe Rapid again with the guys to play ball, since they aren't coming on Tues. anymore.
Friday: Driving my roommate, Erica to the airport :'( Everyone is leaving. Then leaving at 2 am for the temple!
Saturday: Temple Trip!!!!!!!!!!!!! This time I'll tell everyone to pose for a picture.
Sunday: I hope to have it completely off, for -the first time in awhile- no night auditing, OR front desk clerking. Maybe I'll make it to Mark's sister's for FHE
Thursday Night: Chuckwagon dinner with my coworkers :D It was a whole lot of fun, but would have been more fun with kids.
| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
 |
| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
"Hokey Pokey"
 |
| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
Friday Night: Met with the missionaries and Joey/Joel. Joel wants to play basket ball in the full court at the church.
Saturday Night: Marshmellow/s'more night, ended up back at the dorm fire because we got kicked out of the Sheridan Lake group campsite :P
Sunday:
I have to work, but it's all in the name of attending the temple. Which is worse, working on Sunday, or not going to the temple when you have the chance? Emily left :'( , and we ate lunch at the Stevensons. Love them!Monday: I'll hike Harney and maybe Little Devil's Tower with a group of missionaries- including sisters, don't get any ideas, though I think I should give them Annie's address so they can get together when they get home.
 |
| From September, chuckwagon, Jewel Cave, etc. |
 |
| From September, chuck wagon dinner. |
Tues: Institute opening social. BBQ and volley ball, should be a blast.
Wednesday: Movie night with Sierra! I love her, and hope to love the movie, Julie and Julia.
Thursday: no plans yet. - maybe Rapid again with the guys to play ball, since they aren't coming on Tues. anymore.
Friday: Driving my roommate, Erica to the airport :'( Everyone is leaving. Then leaving at 2 am for the temple!
Saturday: Temple Trip!!!!!!!!!!!!! This time I'll tell everyone to pose for a picture.
Sunday: I hope to have it completely off, for -the first time in awhile- no night auditing, OR front desk clerking. Maybe I'll make it to Mark's sister's for FHE
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
2 things- Annie don't read this!
1. No fair! Seth (the guy from Vernal, see 100th post) has shown my blog to his family, but I have yet to see any of theirs. Granted, they might not have one, but it's kind of un-nerving to have people read most of your inner thoughts, while you have no idea who they are.
2. If I don't post for four -plus days, it could mean that I died or something. I tend to go jogging around the lake, then galavanting behind the dam on some great rock formations. I realized today that I always make sure to let people know where I'm going-- if it's a long hike, but if I just jog, I don't make it a point. So, you can be the first to know: I'm behind the lake in the rocks! I think if I don't show up for work for four days, they'll just think I'm off gambling or something ;) Maybe I'll try to wear red just in case the helicopters come looking for my body...
Take today for instance. I went to my usual spot, high on a hill overlooking the morning light across the rolling hills, then over those rocks to another outcropping of granite, down and across the stream to a place that I've only climbed down, but never up... I freaked myself out as I climbed up the boulders, with small hand holds and a pretty big drop off. There were wild raspberries to eat once I got to a ledge, so I enjoyed it, but still, my heart was beating fast as I contemplated falling to my death with no one around. Once I got to the top, I went exploring to some spots I haven't been, and ended the adventure on my flat rock that I once tried yoga moves on, but it was a bit too much for my poor palms. I sat there pondering my life as the wind picked up, swishing the shoulder high grass around me, making the Aspen leaves turn musical. I sat there taking it all in, and sort of memorizing the moment for future stressful moments. All in all it was a great morning, and even if I do fall one day, at least it'll be doing something I love :D
2. If I don't post for four -plus days, it could mean that I died or something. I tend to go jogging around the lake, then galavanting behind the dam on some great rock formations. I realized today that I always make sure to let people know where I'm going-- if it's a long hike, but if I just jog, I don't make it a point. So, you can be the first to know: I'm behind the lake in the rocks! I think if I don't show up for work for four days, they'll just think I'm off gambling or something ;) Maybe I'll try to wear red just in case the helicopters come looking for my body...
 |
| From May in Custer State Park |
Take today for instance. I went to my usual spot, high on a hill overlooking the morning light across the rolling hills, then over those rocks to another outcropping of granite, down and across the stream to a place that I've only climbed down, but never up... I freaked myself out as I climbed up the boulders, with small hand holds and a pretty big drop off. There were wild raspberries to eat once I got to a ledge, so I enjoyed it, but still, my heart was beating fast as I contemplated falling to my death with no one around. Once I got to the top, I went exploring to some spots I haven't been, and ended the adventure on my flat rock that I once tried yoga moves on, but it was a bit too much for my poor palms. I sat there pondering my life as the wind picked up, swishing the shoulder high grass around me, making the Aspen leaves turn musical. I sat there taking it all in, and sort of memorizing the moment for future stressful moments. All in all it was a great morning, and even if I do fall one day, at least it'll be doing something I love :D
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Things that make me go hu? Part 509
Why:
Why is it that some people can be on their second marriage, before I can find one guy?
Why do people through bouquets at weddings? I think that practice should be abolished.
Why are there so many, songs about rainbows?
Why does it show up on the live feed every time I fix something on my blog? Can't it only show when others arrive?
Why do I laugh at my own posts? I'm such a nerd.
Why is it so hard for me to plan things that work out?
Why is the coke machine buzzing so loudly?
Why are tourists so crazy? (See picture and my face)
Why hasn't Sister Hinton told me who that guy is?
Why is timing so weird?
Why does UT seem so far away?
Why is it that right when I want to sit down to eat, another person comes to the desk?
Why is chocolate soooo good?
Why am I so blessed?
Why did a chipmunk just run across the floor of the lobby?
Why have we not caught that chipmunk yet?
Why is it that everyone I know seems to be pregnant, or just had a baby? Must be the water :)
Why do I find myself missing my ex's family? Especially when I see that people visit my blog from his sister's? They really were lots of fun.
Why is it that some people can be on their second marriage, before I can find one guy?
Why do people through bouquets at weddings? I think that practice should be abolished.
Why are there so many, songs about rainbows?
Why does it show up on the live feed every time I fix something on my blog? Can't it only show when others arrive?
Why do I laugh at my own posts? I'm such a nerd.
Why is it so hard for me to plan things that work out?
Why is the coke machine buzzing so loudly?
Why are tourists so crazy? (See picture and my face)
 |
| From August 2009 |
 |
| From August 2009 |
Why hasn't Sister Hinton told me who that guy is?
Why is timing so weird?
Why does UT seem so far away?
Why is it that right when I want to sit down to eat, another person comes to the desk?
Why is chocolate soooo good?
Why am I so blessed?
Why did a chipmunk just run across the floor of the lobby?
Why have we not caught that chipmunk yet?
Why is it that everyone I know seems to be pregnant, or just had a baby? Must be the water :)
Why do I find myself missing my ex's family? Especially when I see that people visit my blog from his sister's? They really were lots of fun.
Ode to my "storage unit"
To the Dearest Loveliest Trunk
of my little black car,
Have I mentioned how much I appreciate you?
Just the fact that I could look inside you right now, and find such wonders as my swimming suit, between 5-10 empty water bottles (I plan on filling them up for emergencies), and my suit case, which happens to have extra clothes and at times shoes;
make me sit in awe of your capabilities.
You hold my things with such care, and even though the past few years I've overused you by leaving those marvelous things in your spacey unit for months on end,
you don't complain,
and still get great gas mileage!
What more could a girl ask for?
Though I move from place to place, you've been there for me.
Through thick and thin, through mud and snow, and even through the kamikaze grasshoppers!
Again, what more could a girl ask for???
Perfection only comes around once in awhile- and as soon as I get another jack to give to your welcoming unit, you will be perfect once again.
Thank you,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
:D
of my little black car,
Have I mentioned how much I appreciate you?
Just the fact that I could look inside you right now, and find such wonders as my swimming suit, between 5-10 empty water bottles (I plan on filling them up for emergencies), and my suit case, which happens to have extra clothes and at times shoes;
make me sit in awe of your capabilities.
You hold my things with such care, and even though the past few years I've overused you by leaving those marvelous things in your spacey unit for months on end,
you don't complain,
and still get great gas mileage!
What more could a girl ask for?
Though I move from place to place, you've been there for me.
Through thick and thin, through mud and snow, and even through the kamikaze grasshoppers!
Again, what more could a girl ask for???
Perfection only comes around once in awhile- and as soon as I get another jack to give to your welcoming unit, you will be perfect once again.
Thank you,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
:D
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